Honestly… I don’t really know. I don’t think I’m really capable of being a loving human being in the traditional sense. I tried it. It failed. Multiple times. I don’t think I’m ‘meant for’ anyone or anything, apart from being a transition. It’s strange. But I suppose I’ve come to accept it.
I don’t feel any connection to anyone. I don’t really feel much of anything.
I’ve decided that the one question I need to answer in my life is “what do I want?”
But I don’t know. I’ve never known. I’ve tried over the years to create artificial wants or needs, I layer meanings on top of myself so I stop realising that I think that everything is pointless and don’t want to carry on.
So I tear myself open. Look inside. What do you see?